"The world does not reward honesty and independence, it rewards obedience and service. It’s a world of concentrated power, and those who have power are not going to reward people who question that power."-Chomsky

"The trouble with self-delusion, either in a person or a society, is that reality doesn't care what anybody believes, or what story they put out. Reality doesn't "spin." Reality does not have a self-image problem. Reality does not yield its workings to self-esteem management." -J.H. Kunstler

"You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows."-Dylan

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

7/16/08: Denver IV-Planting the Redwood

I spent all afternoon transferring old posts and setting up the new blog. It took the whole day, but I was happy with the way things turned out. I continued to try to crop and edit more of the pictures too. I began to sniff around, a tiny bit, for some possible temp work and figure out days to get back to Santa Fe. I figured that the sooner I got back there, the less money I'd spend and thus the more I'd have put back for August. I'd pretty much assumed I'd go back there until 7/31, then leave from Albuquerque on I-40, riding with Laina on her way to the airport. That, of course, unless some dramatic development led to finding a solid way to make money.

I hing out at Chris's coffee shop for a bit then stopped off at the grocery store for some cigarettes and Coke, since Angela had offered to cook us dinner after the got off of work. I was still trying to figure out the disconnected feeling, when something else began to manifest: a surging and intense frustration leading to anger.

I found myself getting VERY annoyed VERY quickly at having to deal with the inefficiency at the supermarket! Stupid, I know-- and knew THEN. But I couldn't help it. I was utterly pissed off at finding myself re-engaged and plugged back into the system. Even if I really wasn't. I was going from my metaphorical jungle back into the zoo, and I was NOT adjusting well! I dumped the Coke off in the nearest aisle, and got out of there immediately, going instead across the street to the more expensive convenience store to get the Coke to mix with Friar's Jim Beam.

I was curious before I got back how exactly this trip would change me. I now had my first indication and that example worried me a bit. Why the quick building anger? What exactly was that from and why was it seeming so difficult to readjust? Was this just a temporary reaction to the change in environment, and if so why did it not happen when I left? To top it off, it bothered me that every other time I'd stopped in Denver, it had a positive effect on me. This was really strange!

We got to bed pretty late and pretty drunk, but before we did Chris and I hatched a spontaneous (sort of!) plan. Chris finally acknowledged that perhaps the idea of us traveling together, and soon, was in fact a good idea. I had been suggesting the idea since April or May, but for numerous reasons Chris had thought it best to concentrate on his plan of opening a coffee shop in Denver. Something had changed, and we began to discuss methods, funding, possible destinations and the likely as well as possible outcomes. The first idea was Europe. But, thanks to our weak dollar, that would be beyond expensive and I really didn't like the thought of following in the footsteps of every smelly college-age hippie who'd done the 'backpack Europe thing'.

Then, there was Mexico. Cheap goods. Lots of history. And...marketed FEAR. The thought of cutting through the stereotypical bullshit and fear-mongering to discover the reality of the country, and the people, appealed to me a great deal. Chris, too. I was eager to continue what I'd started out West: discovering exactly how many people were as fed up with this system, government, and hamster-on-the-wheel existence as I am. I'd also like to get a firsthand look at conditions and attitudes in Latin America, and how the "real" people view us. I'm sick of over-hyped, loaded anecdotes.

With that, we figured why stop there? If we timed it right, we could continue on to South America and possibly get to Rio in time for Carnival. Then there's Peru and Machu Picchu, Argentina, Chile, and Guatemala and Costa Rica on the way. A true adventure, especially considering I speak next to NO Spanish. Not to mention Portuguese!

Nothing was set in stone, but we had set the possible framework to do something very significant and I could still venture off toward the Atlantic in the meantime. Chris's sister is getting married in November, so we set December 1 as the (very) tentative launch date, of course contingent on Chris deciding that he is 100% sure that he wants to do it.