"The world does not reward honesty and independence, it rewards obedience and service. It’s a world of concentrated power, and those who have power are not going to reward people who question that power."-Chomsky

"The trouble with self-delusion, either in a person or a society, is that reality doesn't care what anybody believes, or what story they put out. Reality doesn't "spin." Reality does not have a self-image problem. Reality does not yield its workings to self-esteem management." -J.H. Kunstler

"You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows."-Dylan

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

8/30/05: Upstate, NY-Amtrak 1

Between Syracuse & Rochester, New York

On the train, still processing everything that's happened over the past six-days. I've had an number of the "here I am" moments, most strikingly in Nashville. More today in New York City, then further up the Hudson River. This trip will be one of my fondest memories; exceeded all expectations. I have all but decided to pursue Asheville for at least the winter if I can put it all together. Everything points that way. Every practical angle. I just cannot see myself remaining in Denver, although returning next spring is possible. My only concern is that of perspective. Returning and re-entering the rut. AGAIN, something awoke on this trip. Something dormant, and it was easier this time. Is that the draw? Knowing that something that is dormant is desperately needed?

I'm enjoying the train ride. Seeking out, or at least looking for people; peers/comrades. Like minded folks. People to learn from. Someone to add something. Living life; not letting it pass. "Everything works out." Lessons? Many. Of this trip in particular? Not sure I can verbalize. One possible Celestine Prophecy example: a woman in the lounge car. I came down here hoping to meet and chat with her. I didn't. I instead ignored her in favor of my writing! What if I had done that with Sarah? None of this happens. Each person in a potential portal to something great. I'm slowly learning this, and realizing/remembering that the general good in people always outweighs the bad. Even my examples of "bad" have either taught me something, or led to other people. Danny, for example and by default (and after a degree or two of separation) led me here. Where else? North Carolina? I am indeed at a wonderful crossroad. I have to protect against old thinking, and the return of fear. Put the lessons to work, rather than learning them in theory only. The next 36-hours [on the train] need to be used to bolster my confidence & resolve. That HAS to come from me-no one else. Start within, and all that jazz. Map your own path.

Always answering my own questions....